Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
