Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
