she woke up with a sticky ear
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
