I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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