Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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