i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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