I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
love makes seman taste better
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
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