Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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