Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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