ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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