i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
