I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
