Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
