you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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