oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize