I'm really into asian looking animals
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Randomize
