Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
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