Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
