She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
