Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
