I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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