I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
