There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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