He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize