Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Let's get the cat blown out
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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