i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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