So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
