and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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