My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
