Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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