I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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