Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
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I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
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YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed