there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?