Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
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I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
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As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.