Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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