One girl and one boy is just not enough.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
