TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
