I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
