My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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