I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i barfeds in our rink
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
how does that bad decision feel?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
