Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
