where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize