We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
he had hair everywhere except his balls
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
