I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
