we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
