where am i from again
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
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