Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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