:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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