Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
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