Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize