Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
