Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
