i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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