i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
