hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize