Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
