check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
