I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
