...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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