I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize