I wish my penis had an off switch
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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