There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
