Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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