I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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