Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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