he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
