i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
