At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
